MCU Re-watch: Iron Man

I’m re-watching the entirety of the MCU, these are my live tweets.

And so it begins. My rewatch of Iron Man is starting….now. Fair warning, this will probably be a thirst thread because I am thirsty for Tony Stark. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Okay they’re in the desert. Nice mountains. Some cars are driving. HELL YEAH CLASSIC ROCK IS PLAYING. I haven’t seen this movie in 10 years so this is kind of all new to me again.

The first song of the MCU is Back in Black – AC/DC and I’m like this is PERFECT.


RDJ speaks and I start giggling.

Oh my god he’s a total asshole.

Tony Stark: I don’t wanna see this on your myspace Me: OH MY GOD I’M OLD.

Oh no oh no oh no. Someone save this poor asshole from these explosions! I’m so upset about these poor soldiers that just died. Also why is his phone making that noise.

Stark Industries bomb: WADDAP
Me: *singing Poetic Justice* BE BETTER, TONY. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

Wow Tony built his first circuit board at 4. And then his first engine at 6. They made America a woman? Sure don’t seem that way >>.


WOW OLD RHODEY. I have CHILLS.

Where is Tony? I forgot what happened to him in this scene. Oh right he’s gambling. Of course he is.

WOW HAPPY LOOKS SO DIFFERENT Y’ALL. EVERYONE IS HOT IN THIS MOVIE.

Hello Christine Everhart.

Christine: You’ve been called the DaVinci of our time, what do you say to that?
Tony: Absolutely ridiculous, I don’t paint.
Me: HA
Christine: And what about your other nickname, “The Merchant of Death” Me: oh fuck

Wow Christine and Tony just going at it. Tag yourself I’m JARVIS wakin her up and bein like “Get out. Thanks.”

OH LOOK IT’S CALIFORNIA!

I completely forgot about this part. Why do I keep forgetting things?

Pepper is just like “Hey. Time to leave Christine.”

Christine: After all these years, Tony still has you picking up his dry cleaning
Pepper: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires, including occasionally taking out the trash.
Me: OH SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!


I’m crying about about Pepper and Tony right now. They’re so cute oh my god help? Originally I didn’t care for this relationship, but knowing all I know now I’m like THESE CHILDREN.

Rhodey is so mad. And tbh I would be too. Cause they just straight up replaced him in the second movie lmao.

Even arguing they take the hot towel and I’m like yeah. Yeah hot towels are amazing.

Someone explain to my gay ass why Tony Stark looks so hot here:

Uh….Rhodey????????

Calm down, Tony Stark, you edge-lord.

THIS MOTHERFUCKING SCENE

Why TF is he calling Tony while he’s shirtless? UMMM?? Is this some kind of weird power play or something?

The moment when you see them put the magnet which would eventually become part of the arc reactor into Tony’s chest and you’re like

😱

Tony: *pulling long tube out of his nose* Me: *SCREAMING AND GAGGING* EWWWWWWWAUUGHHH

Tony waking up and finding the arc reactor like “What the fuck???”

For a genius Tony is a fucking moron. You wanna know how that got your guns, Tony? They fucking stole them. Or maybe someone sold them to them. Illegally. Wow did he really think that the US Military were the only people to use his weapons?

Wow he just called Tony the most famous mass murderer in all of history. That’s gotta suck. What an intense wake up call.

And he just refused to build the missile and now they’re torturing him. And now he’s seeing how much of his tech they actually have in this war.

Oh god the moment where Tony realizes they’re going to kill him once he builds the missile and he’s just like “fuck” and I’m like “fuck.”

Tony and Yinsen, hostage bros for life.

Yinsen: That could run your heart for 50 lifetimes
Tony: …*looks sad and contemplative* yeah. Or something big for 15 minutes.
Me: *eating a sandwich and sobbing*

The Ten Rings trying to figure out why the fuck the shit Tony’s making doesn’t look like the picture: Maybe it’s backwards?
Me: Oh y’all.

NO YINSEN. I mean I know he’s not gonna make it, but like I don’t want him to swallow a hot coal.

Me: *swooning*

OH MAN TONY IS JUST LIKE TIME TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP.

YINSEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

Tony is comin for all y’all bitches.

Dude just shoots metal like the bullet isn’t gonna ricochet. You fucking moron.

Yinsen: My family is dead. I’m going to see them now, Stark, It’s okay. I want this. I want this.
Me: *SCREAM CRYING*
Tony: Thank you for saving me.
Me: *SOBBING*
Yinsen: Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life.
Me: HE DIDN’T. HE MADE YOU PROUD. *SOBBING*

Tony: *lights people on fire*
Me: WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tony: *flies*
Tony: *crashes*
Me: Iron Man, everybody.


THEY FOUND HIM! RHODEY FOUND HIM!

Rhodey: How was the fun-vee
Tony: laughs
Me: *CRIES*

Did Pepper’s hair become more red with her grief? Or is that just the sunlight?

Me: *swooning x2*

LOOK AT BABY PEPPER WITH THE REDDEST HAIR.

Tony: Hm. Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long-lost boss?
Pepper: Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.
Me: *MAKES AN INHUMAN NOISE* STOP BEING SO CUTE I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

A cheeseburger and a press conference. Only one of those things sound like the Tony Stark I know.

Lol Burger King. I love that they used BK because that’s what changed actual RDJ’s life as well.

LOOK WHO IT IS Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT SHIELD STANDS FOR:
Strategic
Homeland
Intervention
Enforcement
& Logistics
Division
THAT IS A MOUTHFUL Y’ALL AND COULSON JUST DELIVERS THIS LINE PERFECTLY. THIS MAN IS A GOD.

PEPPER AGREES WITH ME AND I LOVE HER EVEN MORE NOW THANK YOU PEPPER.

SAAAAAME, TONY.

Me: *swooning x3*

This speech is destroying me. Tony Stark oh my god.

I can’t even with this right now y’all. I’m hurt. And I’m proud. And I’m….

Tony: I have more to offer this world than making things blow up. *shuts down weapons manufacturing*
Everyone: *GASPS*
Me: YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN YOU MAKE YINSEN PROUD.

😍

BIG BOY ARC REACTOR

Obi says MANA-FACTURER

YASSS TONY MAKE ARC REACTORS.

Me: *swooning x4* (I have a thing for men button/unbuttoning other men’s shirts alright? Even if it’s platonic. I don’t KNOW)

Pepper bout to have to reach inside Tony’s chest to “change his lightbulb”, so to speak and I am READY for this (and also NOT ready for this).

Me: *swooning? x5* *also cringing and praying for Pepper*

SAME PEPPER OH MY GOD.

Pepper: THERE’S PUSS
Tony: *calmly* It’s not puss it’s an inorganic byproduct of the machine in my chest…
Pepper: IT SMELLS
Tony: yeaaah it does.
Me: *CRINGING*

Tony: Make sure you don’t pull out the magnet at the end of it
Pepper: *pulls out the magnet*
Tony: That was it
Pepper: OH GOD
Me: OH GODDDD

Pepper: What’s wrong?
Tony: Oh nothing I’m just going into cardiac arrest
Me: *SCREAMING*

Pepper: Don’t ever, ever, ever, EVER ask me to do anything like that ever again.
Tony: *smoldering eyes* I don’t have anyone, but you
Me: *HYPERVENTILATING*

Pepper: What do you want to do with this?
Tony: Destroy it. Incinerate it.
Pepper: You don’t want to keep it?
Me: *SOBBING*

Tony: JARVIS, you up?
JARVIS: For you sir? Always.
Me: *sobbing*

Taking a break from thirst tweeting about Tony Stark because I realized I have popcorn and I didn’t make any for this movie. Which is like. Against god or something.

Let’s McFuckin do this

Auuugh his voice is high but he’s got like these deep notes that make me go “YAAAAAAAAS” and swoon.

oh fuk

*SWOONING x6, x7, x,8, x9, x10, & x11*

Are you talking to yourself or your robot, Mr. Stark? Cause like…

👀

YES I LOVE WHEN HE’S TESTING THE SUIT. AHAHHA THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART.

*SCREAM LAUGHING*

My science fiction loving ass is just like WOOOOOOWWWWWWW rn

Tony: This is a flight stabilizer, it’s completely harmless

sAME, PEPPER

Tony: I’m being responsible that’s a new direction for m…I mean the company
Me: Lmao Tony you’re such a fucking disaster


Tony: For lack of a better reason DUM-E is still on fire safety *turns to robot* If you douse me again and I’m not on fire, I’m donating you to a city college
Me: *dying laughing*

LOOK AT HIM FLY

Watching him fly and laugh awkwardly is pretty much everything to me right now. You did it, Tony!

Tony: Yeah. I can fly.
Me: *SWOONS*

JARVIS IN THE HELMETTTTTTTT

*FUCKIN SWOONS x5000*

JARVIS: Sir there are still terabytes of actual calculations needed before a flight is TonY: JARVIS SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO RUN BEFORE YOU CAN WALK—LLLEEEEEROYYYYY JENNNKINNSSS Me & JARVIS:

🤦‍♀️
🤦‍♂️

Good thing he lives near the ocean cause if he was in a city this would probably be a huge disaster lol.

Tony oh my god. Trying to break records and shit. Have fun falling into the ocean, my dude.

Lol bye Tony.

This man is such a nerd.

OH LOOK. MY OTHER FAVORITE PART.

PEPPER GOT HIM A GIFT. I WONDER WHAT IT IS (*ALREADY CRYING*)

*MORE SOBBING*

*SNOT COMING DOWN FACE*

*SCREAMING INTO THE VOID*

*SWOONING x14*


The Ten Rings trying to put together War Machine like a fuckin ominous 3D Jigsaw puzzle.

I LOVE THAT JARVIS MAKES MENTION OF VISITING OTHER PLANETS IN HIS SUIT BECAUSE IN THE COMICS IRON MAN BECOMES PART OF THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.

WOOOW he didn’t get an invitation to his own Firefighters Fund charity event? Fuckin rude, @/ObidiahCuntFactory

JARVIS is so fucking SNARKY.

Tony: Don’t wait up for me honey *DRIVES FAST*
Me: *SWOONS*

Tony: y’look great, Hef
Me: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!

HIM IN THIS SUIT Y’ALL I CAN’T HANDLE IT

H E L P

TBH THIS IS BOTH OF OUR FACES AS WE LOOK AT PEPPER RIGHT NOW CAUSE HOT D A M N

NOW I’M SWOONING ABOUT PEPPER. R.I.P ME, I GUESS?

Pepper: You couldn’t even tie your shoes without me
Tony: I’d make it a week
Pepper: Really? What’s your social security number??
Tony: ……………………5?
Me: *SCREAM LAUGHING*

DO ITTTTTT
JUST DO IT
DO IT
I’M READY

Tony: ….!?!?!??!?!?!?!
Pepper: *moving forward*
Tony: *moves down*
Me: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Tony: !?!?!?!?!?
Pepper: *opens eyes* I would like a drink, please
Me & Tony: WIDSISDFJFSD!?!?
Tony: Got it. Got it getting the drink. Bye. *leaves*
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: HELLO CATHERINE
Tony: Karen
Christine: It’s Christine
Wait…am I Tony Stark?

Wow she brought up Gulmira and Tony is like “FUCKING WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, BITCH.”

Tony: ARE WE DOUBLE DEALING?? UNDER THE TABLE?
Obadiah: *smirks*
Me: I WANNA STAB YOU IN THE EYEBALL. WHERE IS JOHN WICK WHEN YOU NEED HIM???

Me: *SCREAMING*

I’m literally shoveling popcorn into my mouth like WHAT U GON DO TONY WHAT U GON DO (Like I haven’t already seen this fuckin movie)

WHY IS THIS MAN SO HOT.

THE OG IRON SUIT

Tony: *shoots tiny missiles into people’s faces*
Me:

😮

Tony: *gets shot out of the sky*
Me: *laughs* ….Oh man was that mean?

OH GOD THIS SCENE IS SO FUCKIN BADASS Y’ALL I CANNOT STOP SWOONING.

*badass music plays*
Me: *headbanging*
Rhodey: The fuck is happening
Me: *HEADBANGING HARDER*

Tony: I was jogging in the canyon
Rhodey: Thought you were driving
Tony: Right. I’m driving. To the canyon. Where I’m gonna jog.
Me: y’aaaaaaaaaaaall

LMAO THAT’S MY EXIT I’M FUCKING CRYING

The US Army is trying to kill Iron Man and I’m like isn’t this just like them? They’ve also tried to kill Santa Claus several times.

Rhodey is just like “FUCK WE JUST TRIED TO KILL TONY STARK”

WHIPLASH 1 CAN’T GET HIS CHUTE OUT. TONY DO SOMETHING.

TONY SAVED HIM.

Rhodey: What am I supposed to tell the press?
Tony: Training exercise, isn’t that the usual BS?
Rhodey: It’s not that simple
Next scene, Rhodey: An unfortunate training exercise…
Me: HA

*HIGH PITCHED SCREAM LAUGHING* BECAUSE PEPPER’S FACE. OH GOD THIS SCENE HAS BEEN QUOTED SO MUCH I FORGOT IT WAS IN THIS.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAAAA

ME: WERHIWERJHIIFJSDAGUEQRIGJERIJGEIK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

WQEDJISDFAUIGSDFHSDFGJO~!?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?!??!?!?!?!?!!!>!!>!<>

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT’S NOT WHAT IT’S FOR.

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHIT.

OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SO EVIL. HE’S LIKE LEX LUTHOR, BUT COMPETENT.

Tony is so fucking smart I just. I’m swooning.

NO YOU DON’T PEPPER, STOP LYING

THIS IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT TONY, YOU FUCKWIT

PEPPER. HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS IN FRONT OF ME.

Tony: I shouldn’t be alive. Unless it was for a reason.
Me: *SCREAMING INTO THE VOID*

*STILL SCREAMING*

*SCREAMING FOREVER*


Pepper why are you skulking around like you don’t LITERALLY belong there? Stop looking so damn nervous, holy shit.

Ghost Drive Found. I love it. This is real life. Definitely.

Someone stop this fucker.

Pepper STOP HIM.

Person on tape: You didn’t tell us the person you paid us to kill was the great Tony Stark. As you see Obadiah Stane, your deception will and lies will cost you greatly.
THIS VIDEO IS HELLA INCRIMINATING. OBADIAH ISN’T COMPETENT I TAKE IT BACK.

OBADIAH IS JUST LIKE HELLO PEPPER. And I’m like PEPPERRRRRRRRRR. Like I haven’t LITERALLY SEEN THIS MOVIE AND ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

Pepper is so fucking smart, holy shit.

THIS FUCKER TALKING LIKE HE WASN’T THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KILL HIM.

Obadiah: IT really breaks my heart
Me: I’M GONNA BREAK YOUR FACE YOU GIANT PIECE OF SHIT

GET OUT

PEPPER GET OUT OF THERE. WE MUST PROTECT PEPPER POTTS AT ALL COST.

GO PHIL. GO WITH HER. PROTECT HER.

BECAUSE HE’S TONY STARK. NOT SOME HALFWIT SCIENTIST WORKING FOR YOUR DUMB ASS.

You know who else could probably build this? Peter Parker. And also Shuri. But I’m pretty sure they’re both like…5 right now.

How old is Shuri? Does anyone know?

RIGHT??????


Y’ALL OBDADIAH GOT HIM WITH THE BAD SOUND!!!!!!! NO SOMEONE SEND HIM HELP. SOMEONE HELP HIM.

PEPPER!!!!!!!!!! HELP HIM!!! SAVE TONY STARK 2K…08!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LEAVE HIM ALONE.

*ENRAGED SHRIEKING*

NO. NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO !!!!!! NO!!!!! NBO GFIHDGFBUDFSHDASUFHGVSDUFIHV NO!!!!!!!!

*SCREAMING*

*SCREAMING HARDER*

Wow why is Tony Stark’s defiant look here so fukin hot? Cause uh.

FUCKING PUT IT BACK OBADIAH YOU MONSTER

*SOBBING*

Obadiah: Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would’ve preferred that she lived.
Me & Tony:

EVERYONE GO SAVE TONY NOW THANKS

SAVE HIM.

DO IT

NO TONY!!!! TONY NO!!!!

DUM-E YOU BEAUTIFUL MACHINE

THIS MAN IS A FUCKING MONSTER.

RHODEY GO SAVE HIM.


Pepper Potts, SHIELD agent.

AHAHAHA I love him

Lmao Tony flew out of a hole in his ceiling. And Rhodey stares at the old suit like “Next time, baby” Ahahaha yeah. Gotta wait until it’s Don Cheadle for that shit.

Lmao Google just tried to autocorrect Don Cheadle to Don Headache and tbh yeah. I could see that.

RUN PEPPER

SO THIS FUCKER JUST CAME UP OUT OF THE GROUND TO KILL PEPPER LIKE

HOW DARE YOU???

Obadiah about to fuckin kill a family of 5 calling them “Collateral damage” FUCKING NIGHTMARE ASSHOLE Then the mom just casually runs Tony Stark over lmao.

Obadiah: I built this company from nothing
Howard Stark’s Ghost: BITCH U DID WHAT?
Me: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK. WHY ARE RICH PEOPLE LIKE THIS? THEIR PARENTS/MENTORS GIVE THEM LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS AND THEY’RE LIKE I BUILT MYSELF FROM NOTHING. LIKE NO YOU DIDN’T???

Obadiah: I’ve made some upgrades of my own *suit flies slow as fuck* Me: *sarcastically* oh wooooooooow. impressive.

🙄

JARVIS: *reading out the power % left* 7% power…
Tony: JUST LEAVE IT ON THE SCREEN, STOP TELLING ME
Me: Lmao. Ice that bitch, Tony.

Dude. You fly slow as shit. You’re covered in ice. You couldn’t even build your own arc reactor. I wouldn’t call that advanced you fuckwit

TONY STARK YOU BEAUTIFUL PETTY ASSHOLE

YEAH BITCH THE ICING PROBLEM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! TONY STARK IS MY HERO THO

The music that SHOULD’VE PLAYED in the background in this scene

Tony: I’m almost out of power. I gotta get out of this thing…
Obadiah: Lol waddap
Me: GODDAMMIT WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DIE

HE IS LITERALLY CRUSHING TONY TO DEATH AND I AM SITTING HERE CRYING

DO IT PEPPER. YOU ABSOLUTE BADASS.

Lol Tony just pulls out his optical connection. Do it to ’em Tony.

Can I just say here that I totally forgot that Obadiah crushed the original Iron Man suit head.

It’s a wonder this didn’t show up in Peter Parker’s room in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Considering how much he likes Star Wars.
*waggles eyebrows* y’all see what I did there?

Time to die Obadiah.

Tony: Just do it!

AND IN THAT MOMENT WE WERE ALL PEPPER

BYE OBADIAH YOU TURD

GUESS WHO TF IS STILL ALIVE. IT’S TONY STARK.

BOOM. And his heart grew 3 sizes that day.

THIS FUCKIN NERD

Tony: There’s nothing about Stane here
Phil: That’s being taken care of. He’s on vacation. Small aircrafts have such a…poor safety record.
Me: OHHHH BURNNNNN.

Pepper flirting with Phil is my favorite thing tbh. I ship it. But I literally ship everyone with everyone the same way I do in Naruto.

Me: *high pitched giggling*

*MORE GIGGLING*

GET YOU SOMEONE WHO LOOKS AT U THE SAME WAY TONY STARK LOOKS AT PEPPER POTTS

Pepper: And then you went downstairs to get me a drink and you left me there? By myself? Is that the night you’re talking about?
Tony: *looking both horny and scared* …mmhmm?
Pepper: Thought so.
Tony: *thinking: fuck I struck out. GDI*
Me: GIVE IT TIME, TONY


SHUT UP CHRISTINE

THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU THE BEST HERO, TONY.

*SCREAMING*

TIME FOR THE FIRST EVER AFTER CREDITS SCENE OF THE ENTIRE MCU THANKS

Tony: JARVIS?
JARVIS: Welcome home s—*shuts off*
Me: WHO HURT HIM

HELLO NICK FURY

FORESHADOWING, I SEE

Me: *HEADBANGS*

That completes my re-watch of Iron Man!

Hope you guys enjoyed it! I’ll be watching The Incredible Hulk on Tuesday and I haven’t seen it yet, so it should be fun? I dunno. Stay tuned for that!

My books may contain action, romance, & gore. So uh. Read them?

It has come to my attention recently, after a few of my close friends yelled at me, that people don’t know I’ve written books.

So I’m here to set the record straight. My name is Desdemona Wren and I have written 4 books; 2 novels & 2 novellas and I’m going to tell you a little bit about them.

First up, The Marjorie Diaz series: Marjorie Diaz’s Unfortunate Introduction to Magical High Society and Marjorie Diaz’s Unfortunate Introduction to Ancestral Politics & Foul Play.

The Marjorie Diaz series follows Marjorie Diaz, a 22 year-old Mexican American college student who manages to piss off some magical high royals and gets herself marked for death.

And while that seems like a very bad thing (TM), the story keeps cutting deeper and Marjorie discovers everyone has a secret, including her best friend.

This title is LGBT with acespec rep, lesbian rep, bisexual/pansexual rep, and transgender characters. There is also POC rep with Mexican American, Black American, Zimbabwean, and British Indian characters.

Next up, Bloom: A Monster Love Novella and Call Me Eli (my anthology piece).

Both of these books feature transgender characters in same-sex relationships.

Bloom: A Monster Love Novella is about Holly Juniper who falls for a nymph who comes through a portal in her barn. She gets more than she bargained for, when Nia helps her discover what she was truly meant to do.

Call Me Eli is about a transman who falls in love with a rock star when he shows up and hijacks Eli’s cab ride back from his impromptu concert at CosFest, a huge con he goes to with his best friend every year. It’s a Cinderella story, but with a fresh take. They’re adorable together and I’ll be rewriting their story when I get the rights back in August.

I have another few books I want to release this year: Nighthawks: A Monster Love Novella, A City of Glass and Sand, Marjorie 3, A Reverse Harem story, and The Incredible Origins of Suzie Q, Demon Hunter Extraordinaire.

To keep up with my books, what I’m up to, and get sneak peaks of my writing: sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website!

I’m WEAK

1. Real name: [REDACTED]
2. Nickname: Desdemona, Des, Dessy
3. Favorite color: Amaranth
4. Male or female: Female

5. Elementary school: Too many
6. Middle school: Homeschooled
7. High school: Too many
8. College: Ye
9. Hair color: Red
10. Tall or short: Tall.
11. Sweats or jeans: Jeggings
12. Phone or camera: Phone
13. Health freak: I just ate a zebra cake, so
14. Orange or apple: Neither
15. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes
16. Guy friends or girl friends: Yes
17. Piercings: Yes
18. Pepsi or coke: Snapple
19. Have you been in an airplane: Yes
20. Have you been in a relationship: Yes
21. Have you been in a car accident: Yes
22. Have you been in a fist fight: Yes
23. First piercing: Ears
24. Best Friend: Meself
25. First award: Advancement in Science
26. First crush: Scar from The Lion King
27. First word: Mickey Mouse
28. Any talent: Yes
29. Last person you talked to: Boyfriend
30. Last person you texted: Best friend
31. Last person you watched a movie with: Boyfriend (It was Avengers: Endgame)
32. Last thing you ate: a cara cara orange
33. Last movie/ TV show you watched: Lucifer and Endgame
34. Last song you listened to: Look Back at It – A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie
35. Last thing you bought: Chick-fil-a
36. Last person you hugged: Boyfriend

Favorite:
37. Food: Pork noodles
38. Drink: Water
39. Bottoms: Leggings
40. Flower: Anything fragrant (Azaleas are amazing)
41. Animal: Deer
42. Color: Amaranth // Folly
43. Movie: Me
44. Subject: PHYSICS

Have you ever?
45. [x] fallen in love with someone
46. [x] celebrated Halloween
47. [x] Had your heart broken
48. [x] went over the minutes/ texts on your phone
49. [x] had someone like you
50. [x] hated the way someone changed
51. [?] got pg
52. [ ] had an abortion
53. [x] did something you regret
54. [x] broken a promise
55. [x] hid a secret
56. [x] pretended to be happy
57. [x] met someone who has changed to your life
58. [x] pretended to be sick
59. [x] left the country
60. [x] tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
61. [x] cried over the silliest thing
62. [x] ran a mile
63. [x] gone to the beach with your best friend
64. [x] gotten into an argument with your friends
65. [x] disliked someone
66. [x] stayed single for two years since the first time you had a bf/gf or been single forever

Currently:
67. Eating: Nothing now
68. Drinking: Nothing
69. Listening to: Look Back at It – A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie
70. Sitting or laying: Sitting
71. Plans for today: I should write but I’m probably gonna clean/read fanfiction
72. Waiting for: My food
73. Want kids: Yeah, actually.
74. Want to get married: I do.
75. Want to travel: Yes.

What do you look for in a partner?
76. Lips or eyes: Personality
77. Shorter or taller: Same height
78. Younger or older: Same age
79. Romantic or spontaneous: Logical
80. Trouble-maker or hesitant: Intelligent
81. Hook up or relationship: Meh
82. Looks or personality: Both (My man has got it all, thanks)

Have you ever:
83. Lost glasses: Yes
84. Snuck out of the house: Yes
85. Held a gun/ knife in self defense: Yes
86. Killed somebody: lol only in my books
87. Broken someone’s heart: Yes
88. Been in love: Yes
89. Cried when someone died: Yes

Do you believe in:
90. Yourself: Yes
91. Miracles: I want to
92. Love at first sight: Love isn’t something that happens in an instant. 
93. Heaven: I want to
94. Santa clause: No
95. Aliens: Yes  (Can I have a drell husband now, please?)
96. Ghosts/Angels: Yeah

Truthfully?
97. Is there one person you really want to be with right now: Sure.
98. Do you know who your real friends are: I think I have a good idea
99. Do you believe in God: I want to

I’ve published books, I’ve definitely published books

It has come to my attention recently, after a few of my close friends yelled at me, that people don’t know I’ve written books.

So I’m here to set the record straight. My name is Desdemona Wren and I have written 4 books; 2 novels & 2 novellas and I’m going to tell you a little bit about them.

First up, The Marjorie Diaz series: Marjorie Diaz’s Unfortunate Introduction to Magical High Society and Marjorie Diaz’s Unfortunate Introduction to Ancestral Politics & Foul Play.

The Marjorie Diaz series follows Marjorie Diaz, a 22 year-old Mexican American college student who manages to piss off some magical high royals and gets herself marked for death.

And while that seems like a very bad thing (TM), the story keeps cutting deeper and Marjorie discovers everyone has a secret, including her best friend.

This title is LGBT with acespec rep, lesbian rep, bisexual/pansexual rep, and transgender characters. There is also POC rep with Mexican American, Black American, Zimbabwean, and British Indian characters.

Next up, Bloom: A Monster Love Novella and Call Me Eli (my anthology piece).

Both of these books feature transgender characters in same-sex relationships.

Bloom: A Monster Love Novella is about Holly Juniper who falls for a nymph who comes through a portal in her barn. She gets more than she bargained for, when Nia helps her discover what she was truly meant to do.

Call Me Eli is about a transman who falls in love with a rock star when he shows up and hijacks Eli’s cab ride back from his impromptu concert at CosFest, a huge con he goes to with his best friend every year. It’s a Cinderella story, but with a fresh take. They’re adorable together and I’ll be rewriting their story when I get the rights back in August.

I have another few books I want to release this year: Nighthawks: A Monster Love Novella, A City of Glass and Sand, Marjorie 3, A Reverse Harem story, and The Incredible Origins of Suzie Q, Demon Hunter Extraordinaire.

To keep up with my books, what I’m up to, and get sneak peaks of my writing: sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website!

100 Useless Facts

NAME?  
Desdemona

AGE?  
20-ish

FAVORITE FRUIT?
CHERRIES

FAVORITE WAY TO DO YOUR HAIR?
NATURAL

WOULD YOU EVER GET TINTED WINDOWS SO YOU COULD PICK YOUR NOSE WITHOUT PEOPLE SEEING YOU?
NO

ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?
YES

CAN YOU DRIVE? IIF SO WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE?
Yes

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE REAL MEANING ?
Wat

ARE YOU SAD ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON’S DEATH?  
Yes

ARE YOU A MYSPACE WHORE?
Wat

WHICH ONE OF YOUR  FRIENDS DO YOU THINK WOULD MAKE A GOOD PROSTITUTE?
#MeMyselfAndI

DO YOU GO ON YOUTUBE?
Yes

WOULD YOU SWIM THE OCEAN FOR KELSEY?
Who the fuck is Kelsey?

CAN YOU APPLY MASCARA WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED?  
Yes

WOULD YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT MAKEUP ON?
YEAH BRUH

WHAT TIME DO YOU USUALLY GO TO BED?
No

WOULD YOU EVER GET A TATTOO?
I have 2

HAVE YOU EVER CUT SOMEONE ELSE’S HAIR?
Yes

WHAT SONG DESCRIBES YOUR LIFE THE MOST?
Here – Alessia Cara

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG?
I Come With Knives – IAMX

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE YOU DIE?
I will write a book series

ARE YOU AFRAID OF DEATH?

WHAT KIND OF CAMERA DO YOU HAVE?
A Canon DSLR

WHAT’S THE HIGHEST NUMBER YOU’VE EVER COUNTED TO?
9124

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LEARNED HOW TO SPELL YOUR LAST NAME?
3

FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES?
Star Wars I-VIII.  Oops, that’s 7

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SHOW?
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend & Mr. Robot & Star Vs. the Forces of Evil

IF YOU COULD GO ON ONE DATE WITH A CELEBRITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Rachel Bloom

DO YOU HAVE A CELEBRITY CRUSH?
Rachel Bloom

WHAT’S YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
Any

WHAT ARE THREE WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART?
Not be a moron

BIGGEST TURN OFFS?
Ignorance

THREE THINGS YOU WOULDN’T TOLERATE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
1. Not liking children
2. Not reading 
3. Having a closed mind

BIGGEST TURN ON ABOUT GUYS?
No

HAVE YOU EVER PASSED OUT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR?
Thankfully, no

ARE YOU MADE FUN OF A LOT?
No one would dare

DO YOU LIKE CUDDLING?
How about you don’t fucking touch me?

DO YOU KISS ON THE FIRST DATE?
No

SOME RANDOM GIRL JUST COMES UP TO YOU AND SAYS, “who the hell are you”? WHAT DO YOU SAY BACK?
“I WANT TO POOP HERE”.

LAST PERSON TO SEE YOU CRY?
Someone who decided I wasn’t worth being around

WHO/WHAT MADE YOU CRY?  

ARE MOST OF YOUR FRIENDS GIRLS OR GUYS?
No

DO YOU LIKE MYSTERIOUS GUYS OR OPEN GUYS?
No

WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue

WHAT COLOR BRA ARE YOU WEARING?
No

DO YOU WORRY ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR BOOBS?
I would like to go down a few cup sizes.  But for now they’re the perfect size for my body.

ARE YOU THE TYPICAL GIRL WHO’S ADDICTED TO GOSSIP?
Neeeh.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE GIRLY MAGAZINES?
The ones with all the cute clothes.

ARE YOU A GIRLY-GIRL, A TOMBOY, OR IN THE MIDDLE?
I’m mostly just fucker who looks like this:

image

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO’S LOST THEIR VIRGINITY?
Is this like? What is this?

ARE YOU LONELY RIGHT NOW?
I’m never alone

LAST KISS?
Don’t remember

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?
Vet

WHEN DID YOU FIRST START FEELING OLDER?
No

LAST PERSON TO SAY THEY LOVED YOU?
I dunno

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?
Working

WHAT COLOR SHIRT DO YOU HAVE ON NOW?
Blue

WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 2AM LAST NIGHT?
Working

WHERE’S YOUR FAVORITE HANGOUT?
My apartment

THREE BOOKS YOU WOULD READ FOREVER?

THREE CHARACTERISTICS REQUIRED TO BE A SUCCESSFUL DES?
1. Literally do not give a fuck.
2. Be a TOTAL BITCH to everyone you meet
3. Treating your cats like your own children

WHAT’S YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION?
Computer

WHO IS YOUR MOST RECENT EX?
Dis bitch

HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE?
Yes

SMOKE CIGARETTES?
Meh

SMOKE WEED?
420 YOLO SWAG

DO ANY HARD DRUGS?
4. Be addicted to drugs

BELIEVE IN GOD/ BELONG TO A RELIGION OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL?
No

KEEP YOUR FAITH (RELIGIOUS) NO MATTER WHAT?
No

DO YOU KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS?
Isn’t it like…Kirk Cameron or something?

GO VEGETARIAN FOR A MONTH TO SEE WHAT IT WAS LIKE?
I did that for 10 years.  I’m good

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

PUT UP WITH FRIENDS WHO CONSTANTLY HATED AGAINST SOMETHING YOU BELIEVED IN/ SUPPORTED?
Yes.

ARE YOU QUIET ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL LIFE WITH YOUR FAMILY?
My family ain’t even know I gay af

HOW OLD WILL YOU BE IN TEN MONTHS?
Too old

DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE MARRIED BY THEN?
Dude idk what’s gonna happen in the next 10 months, damn

WHAT WILL YOU NAME YOUR SON/ DAUGHTER?
I won’t name them anything cause they wont exist
But Zander and Francesca if it ever happens on accident.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU COULDN’T TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF?

Some dude in Berkeley with a homophobic sign

And Again

WHATS YOURS?

Age: 20-ish

Birthday: Yes

Relationship status: Yes

Biggest fear: Yes

Dream Job: Me

Dream Car: One that drives itself

Dream Home: Anywhere

FAVOURITE?

Artist: An artist

Movie: A movie

Song: High Hopes rn

TV series: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Animal: Deer

Book: So Yesterday

Color : Amaranth

THIS OR THAT?

Twitter or facebook: Twitter

Snapchat or Instagram: Twitter

Pandora or Youtube: Twitter

Coke or Pepsi: La Croix

Tea or Coffee: Tea

Tacos or Pizza: Pork noodles

Winter or summer: Summer

WOULD YOU EVER?

Get married: Yes

Have Kids: 

Swim with sharks: Yes.

Daredevil Stunts: Yes.

Jump out of a Helicopter: If I had to.